You're Not Done Yet: Parenting Young Adults in an Age of Uncertainty
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2024-03-26 16:20:52
- Update Date：2025-09-14
- Status：finish
- Author：B. Janet Hibbs
- ISBN：125028323X
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
A clear-eyed， optimistic guide for parents with adult children who need help navigating the challenges to launching an independent life。
Times were already tough for young adults looking for ways to start living independent lives after high school and college: rents were up， wages were down， then the Covid-19 pandemic hit and a generation of young people were forced out of classrooms and routines， and back home living with their parents。 Now many of those young adults can’t figure out how to re-start their lives， and if they are suffering from mental health or addiction issues the challenge is even greater。 For parents watching their children struggle， the need to respect their child’s independence can clash with a parent’s instinct to instruct and support。
In You’re Not Done Yet， two leading adolescent mental health experts provide a path to optimistic parenting， combating the frustrating isolation and anxiety many feel when dealing with their twenty-something children。 Hibbs and Rostain explain why the times really are unprecedented， and how parents need to change their way of thinking in order to support their children without driving them away。 Chapters cover topics such as addressing internal bias on what your child is “supposed” to do， learning how to talk less and listen more， and how to get your child the help they need when addiction and mental illness are factors。 Packed with helpful information and step-by-step guides to specific situations， this book will be an invaluable resource for struggling parents and their twentysomething children。
Times were already tough for young adults looking for ways to start living independent lives after high school and college: rents were up， wages were down， then the Covid-19 pandemic hit and a generation of young people were forced out of classrooms and routines， and back home living with their parents。 Now many of those young adults can’t figure out how to re-start their lives， and if they are suffering from mental health or addiction issues the challenge is even greater。 For parents watching their children struggle， the need to respect their child’s independence can clash with a parent’s instinct to instruct and support。
In You’re Not Done Yet， two leading adolescent mental health experts provide a path to optimistic parenting， combating the frustrating isolation and anxiety many feel when dealing with their twenty-something children。 Hibbs and Rostain explain why the times really are unprecedented， and how parents need to change their way of thinking in order to support their children without driving them away。 Chapters cover topics such as addressing internal bias on what your child is “supposed” to do， learning how to talk less and listen more， and how to get your child the help they need when addiction and mental illness are factors。 Packed with helpful information and step-by-step guides to specific situations， this book will be an invaluable resource for struggling parents and their twentysomething children。
Reviews
Linda
，
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this nonfiction title。 Unfortunately， what I was expecting it be， it was not。 As a parent of an 18 year old son， I was hoping for solid advice and guidance on how to help him navigate the next five years of his life。 Entering into adulthood is scary; he's unsure what he wants to be when he grows up。 So I was expecting this book to be about just that - how to parent him and help him get through the challenges he will face as a young adult。 What I listened too wa Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this nonfiction title。 Unfortunately， what I was expecting it be， it was not。 As a parent of an 18 year old son， I was hoping for solid advice and guidance on how to help him navigate the next five years of his life。 Entering into adulthood is scary; he's unsure what he wants to be when he grows up。 So I was expecting this book to be about just that - how to parent him and help him get through the challenges he will face as a young adult。 What I listened too was not helpful at all。 If you're looking for a sampling of therapy sessions （and a mentality that everyone should be in therapy）， this is the book for you。 I found it very repetative and unhelpful。 The title to me was very misleading as this book was not about how to parent your child through adulthood， but rather about how to fix all of the issues said child might have。 I guess I am fortunate that my son is not struggling in the ways the children in this book are。。。 。。。more
Kari
，
This book gave a realistic account of the generational divide between GenX parents and their GenZ offspring。 It shares the importance of setting aside biases and stereotypes to leverage separate realities。Providing support to twenty-something emerging adults trying to cross the chasm to gain independence is more about listening than interjecting unsolicited parental advice or providing solutions。 It suggested attempting the “less is more” approach， to avoid micromanaging and erecting too much sc This book gave a realistic account of the generational divide between GenX parents and their GenZ offspring。 It shares the importance of setting aside biases and stereotypes to leverage separate realities。Providing support to twenty-something emerging adults trying to cross the chasm to gain independence is more about listening than interjecting unsolicited parental advice or providing solutions。 It suggested attempting the “less is more” approach， to avoid micromanaging and erecting too much scaffolding in the growing up and getting out process。This can be a tumultuous time for both sides and this book included many vignettes that shared family viewpoints during discussions with therapists and checked back in later to gauge if they had made progress or experienced further setbacks。 Psychologists refer to this stage of life as individuation， when young adults are trying to assert their own identity， but in today’s economy it is difficult even with a college degree to easily separate from parental support upon graduation。 Struggles with mental health issues， substance addictions， and obsession with electronic devices contribute to the strife of breaking free into a stable sense of self。 This book gave me a lot to ponder， but in my personal unique situation， it is hard to obtain specific answers from this general exploration of the topic。 The book mentions that there are pdf resources available for further information， but I didn’t have access to that from the audio version I reviewed。Thank you @NetGalley and @Macmillan。Audio for sending this book for review consideration。 All opinions are my own。 。。。more
Sara
，
A timely parenting book that fills a gap in the category。 It is just as the title says。。。 and as parents are we ever really done？ My own kids are older than the target group of this book， but I enjoyed reading it just to be able to understand this particular generation a little bit better and to understand the impact that our world has on a particular generation。 It would behoove all of us older folks to know more about the unique difficulties faced by this generation。The books is thorough， well A timely parenting book that fills a gap in the category。 It is just as the title says。。。 and as parents are we ever really done？ My own kids are older than the target group of this book， but I enjoyed reading it just to be able to understand this particular generation a little bit better and to understand the impact that our world has on a particular generation。 It would behoove all of us older folks to know more about the unique difficulties faced by this generation。The books is thorough， well-organized， gives relatable examples and episodes， and is quite readable。 Recommended for everyone that cares about a generation other than their own。Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this book。 I am glad it will be out there in the world。 。。。more
Bonny
，
When I was a new parent， I read lots of parenting books in an effort to be the best parent possible while also searching for those elusive ideas that would help me to better understand my particular children。 Now that my kids are 30 and 32 years old， my days of hands-on parenting are over， but they will never not be my children。 There are very few books written about parenting young adults， so You're Not Done Yet is a welcome addition。 The subtitle Parenting Young Adults in an Age of Uncertainty When I was a new parent， I read lots of parenting books in an effort to be the best parent possible while also searching for those elusive ideas that would help me to better understand my particular children。 Now that my kids are 30 and 32 years old， my days of hands-on parenting are over， but they will never not be my children。 There are very few books written about parenting young adults， so You're Not Done Yet is a welcome addition。 The subtitle Parenting Young Adults in an Age of Uncertainty is equally important。 The world is drastically different than when I was a young adult， and the simplistic advice I heard of "work hard and you'll be successful" is no longer useful。 The authors detail how the world is different for today's young adults along with the challenges and "poor coping" they face because of it。 It was illustrative for me， along with the practical ideas that the authors give for better coping， for both parents and children， including mental health concerns。 I have tried to use many of the steps given （including preparation， checking my defensiveness， and having to be right） and will continue to try and put these useful ideas into practice。 Thank you to Netgalley and St。 Martin's Press for providing me with a copy of this book。 。。。more
Michelle Pulignani
，
Great information。 Definitely loved this book。
Jennifer
，
This book is phenomenal。 I needed this read。
m
，
This timely and important book will resonate with the many parents concerned about their twentysomething child’s struggle to “launch。” Record numbers of young adults are living at home， un- or underemployed， without having completed their educational programs， and/or struggling with mental health issues。 Parental efforts to help， however well-intended， can compound the problem， shutting down communication between parent and child and adding to the frustration， anxiety， and depression both may be This timely and important book will resonate with the many parents concerned about their twentysomething child’s struggle to “launch。” Record numbers of young adults are living at home， un- or underemployed， without having completed their educational programs， and/or struggling with mental health issues。 Parental efforts to help， however well-intended， can compound the problem， shutting down communication between parent and child and adding to the frustration， anxiety， and depression both may be feeling。Therapists Hibbs and Rostain do an excellent job of describing the challenges faced by today’s “emerging adults” and putting them into historical context （although political context is only mentioned in passing - a not entirely helpful choice， given that the deepening ideological divide has added to family conflict）。 Contrasting the world in which the baby boomers and Gen X came of age with the world today， the authors clearly show that “the likelihood that most twentysomethings will have a predictable， undeviating path to adulthood is inconsistent with current economic and social realities。” This is much needed reassurance for parents who have been barraged with negative messaging that blames “helicopter parents” and their “snowflakes” for this generation’s struggles。 Hibbs and Rostain urge their readers to “rethink the stereotype of parents as neurotic enablers from whom young adults must recover; and to reconsider the bias that delayed young adult milestones reflect a generational character flaw。” They encourage readers to proactively participate in a “new era of parenting: parents as collaborative partners to their young adults。” The first part of the book gives concrete strategies and examples of how that can be accomplished， with re-set communication and listening techniques being the key。The second part of the book discusses specific behavioral and mental health concerns， such as online gaming， depression， and substance use， with suggestions on how to address them and an appendix with many resources。 This will surely be valuable to many families， though it struck me that the ability to gain timely and repeated access to some of these resources， in particular to mental health professionals， can be frustratingly difficult or simply not possible。Overall， I found this guide for today's parents to be insightful， readable， and very useful。 I plan to re-read it and highly recommend it to others。 4。5 stars。 。。。more
Ruby
，
What an affirming book and valuable resource！ I read plenty of parenting books for raising young children but not many good ones for parenting older adults。 This book is the exception。 I appreciated the information and research on how unprecedented the times are that our adult kids are living in。 I also loved a parenting description as being "open nesters" compared to "empty nesters，" who let kids come and go， and that young adulthood today is called "emergency adulthood，" flexible and dynamic。 What an affirming book and valuable resource！ I read plenty of parenting books for raising young children but not many good ones for parenting older adults。 This book is the exception。 I appreciated the information and research on how unprecedented the times are that our adult kids are living in。 I also loved a parenting description as being "open nesters" compared to "empty nesters，" who let kids come and go， and that young adulthood today is called "emergency adulthood，" flexible and dynamic。 Included is a resource called the CRAFT module for positive communication which I plan to keep at hand。 It offers steps to keep in mind for engaging with your twentysomething。 I found most useful the steps to take in preparation before conversations， such as checking your defensiveness level， pausing or slowing down， and trying to see things from your young adult's perspective。 I will be using this as a resource and sharing with friends。 Highly recommended。 Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC。 。。。more
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you're not done yet parenting young adults in an age of uncertainty